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My son is 9 weeks old, and I'm going back to work tomorrow. I am DYING. What can I do? - old moms anal

We have tried a half-day kindergarten yesterday, and have been much worse. It's just a number in a class full of ten babies! The kindergarten is not necessarily wrong, but simply have no time to hear, see and observe. Do not follow the calendar on paper and share them, do not feed them regularly, and that leaving "the state is not wrapped up", it is the only way to sleep. I was in a bad mood yesterday, so when we came home and slept three hours! I do not want one of these mothers anal-routine tasks, your child, but I'm already a terrible time to return to their jobs. That's worse. But even if the children were perfect, it would still be miserable. There are no funds that can now stay at home. I'm a mess! I cry every day about it. I know everyone says "it's getting better, but how these concerns and emotions TODAY address? And ... tomorrow and the next day?" I am worried and crying and hurting them lose it.I just want to go home with my son to go !!!!!!!!